The whole crew comes out for my arrival. I’m nervous that the twins are still mad at me for standing them up at Harvard. ‘Gator assures me that it was no big deal, as the girls enjoyed meeting all my friends, especially the 3D girls from Mower. Jack’s sense of good manners means they never felt out-of-place. I rush over and hug my twin sisters. No passive-aggressive punishment for my bad manners. Off we go to the Hyland House for Pizza Pit and a sing along. For once I have performance fatigue, refraining from debuting my English Oi Boi rock preference. I think we end with ‘Rhinestone Cowboy’ in honor of the missing Jack.
Angie tells a long story about meeting my girlfriend at Harvard. She declares that Trudie has a solid sense of values and takes no gruff from my wayward gay ways. Not sure that I’ll see everyone again before Christmas I pass out all the presents I brought. In typical Iowa ways, they all assure me that they won’t open them until Christmas morning. Noah is surprised and pleased that I remembered a present for him. ‘Gator slaps him on the back, “’course, he remembers. You’re the better half of a horse’s ass.”
With everyone on their way home, my two moms sit me down at the dining room table and quiz me on my college life. They’re quite pleased that as a Mower-certified feminist, I stand up for the girls in my dorm. I bring out the copy of the 100th year anniversary Lampoon edition. They love the Boston Bossie article. I ask about Dr Kam. Molly assures me that he’ll see me as soon as I want to.
“Everything okay?” she asks.
“Definitely, but I need to stay grounded. My boss in Hollywood wants me to stay on permanently. He’s not a Harvard grad, in fact he never went to college.”
The moms look concerned. I assure them that Dr Kam will straighten out my priorities. They ask how dating is going. I relate all our adventures in the City, including Burroughs’ admonition that the girls need to be able to keep up.
The moms well understand.
Lying in bed with ‘Gator is so strange. He insists it’s only for old times’ sake. He and the twins usually stay out at the ‘Gator ranch. I promise to accompany them in the morning to reconnect with my old bossie Bessie, the milker. Before I fall asleep, ‘Gator sneaks out to join the twins. I’m alone in bed for the first time since Hollywood. I feel lonely until Jace joins me. He lets me fuck him, so I won’t forget how to do it properly. Once I finish, I let him fuck me. I go instantly to sleep after a second orgasm.
Mom’s blueberry pancakes are better than Du-Par’s, or, at least I say so. I put all the family presents under the tree. The twins plan a tour of all our teachers, friends and choir members to show I haven’t forgotten my roots – all seven months of living in Iowa. Mrs. McCarthy is effusive with her interest in my Harvard life. I show her the Lampoon issue I helped produce. She is thrilled that I’m going to be a TA the next fall. When I tell her about my Hollywood work/study, she declares that she always knew I was destined for greatness – my greatest fan. I reluctantly admit that ‘my’ movie is a B grade frat farce. She swears I’m her only student who even knows what a farce is. Coach ‘Red’ Ball tells me I look scrawnier than ever. He warns his latest football team not to underestimate me. We sit and discuss ‘Gator’s first year as a starting linebacker at Iowa State. My boy has lived up to his reputation and was voted a second string Big Ten Conference all-star. Even Noah got notices as an up-and-coming defenseman from Ames High. He promises that bowling is starting soon and Ames is psyched to defend its national title. He has been scouting the competition and it looks like the Regis boys will not compete for lack of female bowlers. The French Club has volunteered to serve again but the national organizing committee ruled against them as they do not attend high school close enough to practice together. Jack will be disappointed.
“How is your boyfriend?” Coach Ball isn’t embarrassed by gayness.
“We’re doing great, especially since we have girlfriends now.
I meet with Choir Master Ring at Ames First Baptist. The girls get me to promise I’ll sing with them at the Christmas Eve service. I tell him about our efforts to bring spiritual music to the St Paul’s Boy’s Choir in Cambridge.
“Catholics have a long way to go to rival Baptist gospel spirituals.”
I counter his argument with the boys’ love of Pink Floyd and how it moved all the parishioners.
“Good. Catholics could use a little more enthusiasm.”
I refrain from discussing my holy rolling at the Whiskey, especially the humping part. I tell him about Hippie and Anna’s little Greg. Praise the Lord.
The moms and I spend Christmas Eve at ‘Gator’s family ranch. Both families are still easing into the idea of bigamy. I suggest to ‘Gator that Noah join their three-way to even the odds and prevent legal problems when they finally grew into adults. The Iowa State coach has noted that the ever-energetic ‘Gator now plays both offense and defense, making him a both ways and three-ways expert. ‘Gator just rides the waves of gridiron stardom.
By Christmas morning, I’m worn out. The gift exchanges go well. I get rhinestone shirts and cowboy boots. The twins love the spoon rings I found, to match the one I wear from the band. ‘Gator gets his as well. The moms are confused by the Picasso print I get them of a Cubist nude. I explain that the fractured depiction of one woman makes it look like two women overlapping each other.
“I think I understand it is a modernist approach,” Molly tries to explain my odd sense of art. The twins and I sing John Lennon’s ‘This is Christmas.’
‘Gator comes by with my final gift to the moms, which he helped pick out. It’s a black lab male puppy, all squirming and nervous, rushing around to everyone.
“Since we’ve all moved out, I know you needed a new son to take care of,” I announce. The pup is instantly named Max 2. Jace and Max 1 gives their enthusiastic approval. The puppy knows exactly where Max 1 is sitting. He teaches the puppy to find that secret spot where all dogs keep secret doggy knowledge.
We attend Baptist services on Christmas Eve, so we all go to the Catholic mass together. Not much singing. I watch Jace fly about the altar and settle on the crucifix. We rededicated ourselves to each other. Jace gives me a heart attack by pretending to again be absorbed by the crucifix. He laughs at my panic. I tell him not to scare me like that, or else he’ll lose his place at the dinner table.
That night I call Tommy in Fort Lauderdale. The boy isn’t home, but Auntie Em is happy to chat with me.
“That boy is growing up so fast, I’s a’fraid he’s gonna be gone and fergettin’ us too soon.”
“That boy has too much love in his heart ta ever ferget y’all. You’s the parents he’s always needed.”
“Fur goodness sakes, Huck, (she doesn’t know my real name) that boy has made our old lives blossom and bloom afta we’s givin’ up thinkin’ we’d eva have a child in our lives.”
“He is a blessin.’”
“And a devil.”
“That’s the boy I know. Please, ma’am tell ‘em I’s gonna be in Miami next week. He’s gots to come to our show on New Year’s Eve.”
“He’ll be mighty pleased to see ya. He’s stopped talkin’ ‘bout you’s as much as at first but I knows he has love fer y’all in his heart.”
“I know that, Auntie Em. And, I be lovin’ y’all fer takin’ him in and lovin’’em like I does.”
“Bless ya, Huck.”
We hang up and I laugh and laugh. That boy is a constant source of joy. He’s out cattin’ around, of course.
The next day, we all go ice skating. Northern Plains winds have removed any snow, making the ice perfect. Without Tommy to cut-up, it’s less exciting. Patrons at the hot chocolate stand keep a wary eye on us. Soon it starts to snow. We make plans the next day to invite all our friends out to the ‘Gator ranch for sledding and ATV riding. Molly has scheduled me to meet Dr Kam that afternoon. As I walk away from the skating pond, my friends are enveloped in the flurry of snow coming down. They slowly disappear.
My mood for Dr Kam was tinged with sadness. He soon has my spirits revived, playing and singing with his samisen. I tell him about playing the sitar at Jake’s. He demands I relate any celebrity news about John and Yoko. I go over all my accomplishments at Harvard and subsequent Hollywood work. Then he asks how my relationship with Jack is going.
“Not so great,” I sighed. “We’ve been going through break-ups and make-ups.”
“How’s the sex?”
“It hasn’t changed, but I have.”
I explain the vibrating problem, after cheating. Jimmy’s pseudo-psych explanation that I have daddy issues makes Dr Kam laugh.
“Maybe, but it’s not a bad thing to start shaking and vibrating when the sex has been good.”
“Really? It freaks me out. I can’t stop.”
“Well, maybe it is a control issue. Has it only happened with one partner?”
“No. Another time it was a girl in the corner of a club. Other times my friends touch me and it starts up.”
“Is it only after orgasms?”
“It starts when I’m about to cum and then it won’t stop, sometimes for hours.”
“Is it like a seizure?”
“How nice. It doesn’t sound like a relapse of your PTSD. Do other people notice?”
“They think I’m putting out a super-sexual vibe. People stop on the street.”
“What does Jack think?”
“It doesn’t happen with him.”
“That’s the problem. Sounds like your erogenous sensitivity has increased without Jack coming along. Do you really think you’re breaking up?”
“He’s so insecure, he seems to always be on guard. We no longer communicate through our hearts. He fears he’ll find out I no longer love him.”
“So, being college roommates isn’t all it was cracked up to be?”
“We have a straight kid living with us, and then, Harvard separated us by sending me to Hollywood.”
“Life sometimes gets in the way of our prior plans.”
“I wish he would find his own way. He’s such a well-mannered boy, it’s like he doesn’t have any passions of his own.”
“College is where you’re supposed to find yourself.”
“That’s what everyone says. I never lost myself, especially after I found friends who actually get me.”
“You’re not hard to understand. You make sure everyone knows what you’re about.”
“I definitely have a slutty reputation.”
“More than ever. It works great in Hollywood. I’m very popular.”
“Popularity breeds contempt.”
“My, we are full of clichés today.”
“LA is the superficial capitol of the world.”
“I don’t think you’re really worried about it. Jack is a bigger problem. Sounds like he’s not communicating and your relationship suffers. You need to have heart-to-heart talks. Do you really know what he’s going through.”
“That’s the problem. He just wants to follow me. If I stay in Hollywood, he’ll quit Harvard. That’s a big mistake for him.”
“But not for you?”
“No. It seems like it’s my destiny. I don’t need to find myself.”
“All you can do is let him know. This separation is a test. You’re eighteen. You think you’ve found your life partner? It seldom works out that way. Don’t think you’re completely grown up yet. You’ll have many lovers.”
“How’s Dr Kam?”
“A genius, as always.”
“You seem less buoyant than usual. Did you have a serious talk.”
“Yeah. He says I’m pretty much cured from the PTSD. My recent weird behavior is apparently pretty normal.”
“Are you having physical symptoms.”
“I’m not sure you want to know.”
“It’s okay, Tim. I won’t tell anyone else.”
“I get the shakes during and after sex.”
“That’s hot. What happens?”
“I purr like a cat.”
She can’t stop laughing. “And that’s a problem.”
“I can’t make it stop for the longest time.”
“What do your partners think?”
“They start shaking too.”
“I don’t understand teen sexuality but it sounds pretty great. Please refrain from sharing your secret with the twins.”
“It’s not something to be shared with everyone.”
“Have some pie,” she puts a slice of blueberry pie in front of me.
After my pie, I go and take a long bath. It’s chilly after I get out. I started to shiver but the shakes go away as soon as I warm up enough. I’m on edge for no reason. I call Jake in Hollywood. He’s pleased. We relate holiday stories. I had forgotten that he is Jewish.
“Did you eat Chinese on Christmas night?”
“Of course, it’s a gathering of the tribe.”
“I went to both Catholic and Baptist services.”
“You’re such a good boy.”
“Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Can I refuse to answer.”
“It’s about me. Does the vibrating and shaking I do bother you when we have sex?”
“Why would it?”
“I can’t stop it from happening. Even when I leave, I still vibrate.”
“You’re just a big dildo,” he jokes.
We laugh. I feel better.
“I’ll be back after New Year’s,” I promise. “We’re doing a show on New Year’s Eve. You’d love it. Our drummer’s dad built a Globe Theater replica in their back yard.”
“Can I come? I’ve gotta see that. I don’t have plans for New Year’s Eve.”
“Oh, my god. Jack’ll have kittens if you show up.”
“I’ll say I’m on business in the Grove.”
“Get a hotel there. We can have a secret tryst.” I’ve gotten as hard as a rock. As always my dick does my thinking for me.
“This is too exciting. I don’t want to be breaking you up from your boyfriend.”
“It’s not you. We’ve been rocky for months.”
“Well, I can’t wait to see you.”
I give him my home numbers in Ames and Coral Gables. In for a penny, in for a pound. I worry that there is no one to confide in. Maybe I just like having a secret life.
Everyone had a great time sledding and riding the ATVs the next day. I enjoy milking my favorite cow, although I miss the sense of connection we used to have. She seems to perk up when Seamus visits her while I’m doing the milking. I’m not jealous but realize our relationship is over. Not with Seamus. He revels in his newly acquired country ways. I can relate with that.
I arrive at Miami International with much less fanfare. Jack is the only one to greet me. We hop into his pink Cabriolet and speed off to the Gables. We go to Michael’s where the old crew is waiting. They need direction about what music we’ll play for New Year’s Eve. We all agree to let the Out Crowd play dance tunes for the party portion of the entertainment. At ten o’clock False Gods will put on an original concert of our own music, leading up to the midnight countdown. Jack and I play the Triplets and Sitting Band songs. Jack complains that I now speed up the tempo on all our songs. I explain that Hollywood bands are all about speed to get people off their asses. We agree to do my favorite Heartbreakers covers – ‘Won’t Back Down’ and ‘Yer So Bad.’ These real rock n roll songs are met with greater enthusiasm. I worry that False Gods is cursed to stay a cover band. Michael and Jenna have practiced a couple of love songs. Well play them at the countdown to midnight, so everyone will be in the mood for their New Year’s kiss. Robby is a no-show, supposedly disdaining our attempt at a reunion. I know I can convince him to join us by confronting him for always being self-centered. The Jacettes also need to be encouraged. Hippie states that Anna and Little Greg will only attend ‘if that demon-worshipping” Robby isn’t there.’ Typical band bullshit. We all promise to practice daily to get up to speed. The Out Crowd shows off their latest greatest hits. I can’t believe Stu is fourteen. He’ll always be nine to me. He keeps giving me the biggest grins. Mike Jr is still his constant companion, best friends for life. He also has a coterie of female fans, hopefully not yet groupies. He’s as cool as a cucumber.
Winston, Susan and Dad greet me as Jack and I walk into my house. Susan has prepared a feast for dinner – just steak and potatoes with Creme Brule for dessert. She sets out a place for Jace, who expertly cracks the glaze on everyone’s dessert.
The phone rings. It’s Tommy, ever anxious to see me. Jace tipped him off on my arrival.
“Howdy, Huck. When kin I come see ya?”
“Kin ya git ol’ Vic ta drive ya down?”
“No need. I gots my license now. Auntie Em lets me use her car. I jist gotta be home by ten.”
“The band’s rehearsing every night for our show on New Year’s. Meet us at Michael’s. You remember the way.”
“Ol’ Jace kin navigate. What time tomorra?”
“I’ll be there. I still luvs ya Huck.”
“Me, too. I kin hardly wait.”
As I get off the phone, Jack is giving me a wry look.
“Tryin’ to make me jealous?”
“Naw. He’s still a kid. But no need fer ya to drive up there and git ‘im. He’s gots his license.”
Time to invade Robby’s ass and get him to play the party. Jack needs our sexual reunion to start soon. I put him off by reminding him how pot will ramp up his libido. He’s miffed to be delayed. Max appears as we headed for his favorite dealer’s house. Winston immediately wants to come with us.
“Dad, we’re going to walk Winston,” I announce. Susan hands me a plastic bag to keep the neighborhood pristine.
“Thanks, Mom,” I tell her, “We need a second one for Max.”
“Of course,” she laughs.
Both dogs know what to do on the way to Robby’s. We use the front door. Robby’s mom pets both dogs. Rocky, the cat, hisses.
We burst into the smoke-filled pot den. The kids expect us to attack Robby who grimaces at our challenge to his place of authority. I keep back as Jack and Robby go at it. The dogs are egging them on. Robby senses victory until Jack pulls a reverse nelson on him. He cries ‘Uncle.’
“Not until you agree to play with us on Friday night,” I have my own conditions.
“I ain’t playin with them losers,” Robby contends.
“Is this your plan for New Year’s?” as I point to the kids cowering in the corner. “Smoking out the junior high crowd?”
“We’re hosting a hundred people at Michael’s. Y’all gotta come.”
“If you insist.”
The bong appears. Jack and I settle on the bed, with a couple of 14-year-olds. Jack’s amorous needs come storming out as he attacks me. The junior high kids are unprepared for this behavior. Looking shocked and worried they move away from us.
“Ya gonna tell us how superior y’all are goin’ ta Harvard and all,” Robby rags.
“Naw. I thought you were going away, too?”
“Mr. Clark promised he’d get me into Rollins, where he teaches now. I’m takin’ a break from school until I’m ready.”
“Gonna hook up there with Jace’s brother, Jeff?”
“Fuck. I hate that asshole.”
“Don’t worry. He’s still in jail. Maybe he’ll be out by the time you start.”
Jack is crawling up my back. It’s time to answer his needs.
“Come to practice at Michael’s tomorrow night,” we jump out the window. Max complains he’s not had enough second-hand smoke. Winston pushed him out the window, having nothing to do with doggy drug habits.
“Get in the corner,” I order Max. He goes into his Spot pose, Winston sits and stares at him. The bed is our domain. Jack eyes me warily, wondering how I’m going to act, hoping for ravishing, but worried I’m less than lusty. It isn’t a moment to be a New Romantic. I use my teeth to undo his jeans, licking his belly button up to his rigid nipples. I bit hard and twist both of them as he writhes in pain and stimulation. I pull his jeans down to his knees, lift his legs and stick my head and shoulder through his upper thighs. It rotate him backward so his butt pushes against my stomach while his knees were hooked on the back of my neck. I rock him back and forth, with his dick flopping against his stomach. I take it into my mouth and suck him deeply down my throat. As it hardens, my throat squeezes the shaft, while my tongue licks the head. He throws his head back and moans. Reaching around his elevated legs, I pinch his pebble-hard nipples, twisting and pulling them. I love torturing him. His pot-driven horniness loves being abused. He longs for the penetration coming soon . Winston gets up to investigate our lovemaking. Max barks once and Winston returns to their corner.
“Good boy, Winston,” I tell him
Jack’s fucking rhythm is thrown off. I return to deep-throating his long skinny dick. Placing both hands on his butt cheeks, I begin exploring his butthole. He’s pulsing in anticipation. I place the tip of my dick just inside his anal ring, stabbing him with quick, short probes. Jack grabs my butt, trying to pull me in deeper. I resist, looking him in the eye and shaking my head. He keeps pulling me. I pull back and let go of my first orgasm, just inside his butt-hole. He moans in disappointment.
His body slumps as he gives me complete control. I penetrate him with my spent dick. It remains hard. His disappointment turns to satisfied moans and groans. I quickly regain my need to fuck him. We go at it for so long that Jack cums twice. As he rushes for his third orgasm, he starts begging me to cum. I kiss him to stop him from talking. Frenching him with the same rhythm as my dick is going in and out of his butt makes us a rocking sex machine. I finally approach my point of no return, speeding up my thrusts and going as far in as my dick will go. His butt is over his head as I continue to kiss him. Eventually I’m on my feet rocking into him. As I let loose, he screams in ecstasy. The dogs start howling as I pull out and spray all over him. Finished, I go down on him, engulfing his dick. It goes off for the fourth time. It whips back and forth in my throat, knocking my tonsils to and fro. Thinking about the Ann sisters singing the bubblegum song makes me laugh. I flop down next to Jack. We lay there panting and exhausted. Jack loves being ravished. He cuddles up with me.
Dad knocks on the door. “Why is Winston howling?”
I wanted to tell him that Max is there too, but I’m too exhausted to tease him. “He was singing along with Jack and me,” I explain.
“I love Winston, Dad. But I know he’s your dog.”
Max barks. I swear Dad hears him. He leads Winston back to his part of the house.
Jack and I wrap around each other and go to sleep.
The next morning we have the house to ourselves. No extra time off during the holidays for the military-industrial complex. I offer to cook breakfast, but don’t complain when Jack knows Isabelle will do a better job. After Eggs Benedict, English muffins, French coffee, and Florida fresh-squeezed OJ, we join Mummy and Daddy by the pool. I figure I need to lay the groundwork for the arrival of Jake at Friday night’s New Year’s Eve show.
I know Mummy can smooth the way.
“Mummy, you’ll be pleased to know one of my musicians friends is coming out from LA for our performance at the Antonio’s. He’s a classical composer.”
“My Tim, your musical training is coming along.”
“We’re working on a score for the movie that incorporates Greek operatic elements.”
“Which operas?” I’ve tweaked her interest.
“Orestes, Ariadne, and several others. We’re assigning leitmotifs from the operas to our main characters.”
“Will you use the Minotaur in Handel’s ‘Theseus’ for Belushi?” Jack cracks.
“That’s a good idea,” I concede.
“Very impressive, Tim,” Mummy praises me.
“The composer wants to see a real rock n roll show, since the movie has a dance party scene. He’s coming to see us play.”
“Is he a renowned composer?”
“He’s classically trained and has worked in Hollywood for years.”
“He’s not your age?”
“No. He’s 42. He’s been teaching me about classical music. It was the popular music of society before our era of recorded music.”
“You’re to be commended for broadening your musical knowledge.”
“He feels classical has become an ancient art form, no longer au courant.”
Mummy beams at my attempt to be sophisticated.
“Since he is older than everyone, even my parents, I was hoping you might take him under your wings at our show,” I suggest.
“It sounds very interesting, to have an actual composer in our party,” Mummy knows how to rule social events.
“That would be wonderful. Thank you for looking out for my friend.”
Oh, the lies we weave when first we must deceive. Jack is oblivious, bored with talk about opera.
He’s more concerned about the arrival of Tommy for band rehearsal at Michael’s. He’s there waiting for us, anxious to be a part of our show. He rushes to greet me, with a hug but no kisses. He’s now too mature for that. Stu recognizes a kindred spirit and takes him over to meet the other Out-Crowd members. With no musical talent and difficulty holding a tune, I’m at a loss as to how to use his stage presence and natural country humor. Michael suggests he recite a Mark Twain tall tale. He even finds a book from which to choose a story.
“I don’t need no Mark Twain ta git a laff,” Tommy complains.
“We’ll work on it so as y’all kin git more’n just one laff,” I argue.
As long as we’re working together, Tommy is happy.
Everyone sits down in the music room. Robby passes around a couple of ‘Robby specials’ to relax the mood. Everyone is talking at once in our usual chaos style of organization. Michael finally puts his foot down. We decide the order of acts, starting with a jazz ensemble led by his dad’s college quartet as everyone arrives and cocktails are served to the adults; next comes the Hillbilly Brothers doing “One Toke..” provided by Robby to everyone backstage before coming out to perform; next, the Harvard Sitting Band’s Moody Rudes blues; followed by an extended dance party for the kids by the Out-Crowd; then the False Gods’ set would culminate with ‘Curfew must not ring tonight’ just as the New Year is ushered in.
After the midnight kissing ends, I’ll show off Hollywood songs from Tom Petty, our ally in chaos from the Skynyrd show. I’ll finish with the Triplets ‘Don’t Fuck with Me” anthem. That should pretty much cover the width and depth of my rock n roll experiences. Tommy can tell an on-the-road yarn from Mark Twain before we do the Hillbilly Brothers stoner song and finish with his ‘Gatorsaurus tale if people want an encore after midnight. There is some griping by those who feel I’ve taken over the spotlight. Before we descend into arguing about it all, I say we need to play, not talk anymore. Robby pulls out another ‘special’ to motivate us, but the Out-Crowd kids just go to set up. John stares back at us with a look of regret but stays with his band mates, including Tommy. John is explaining to Tommy how they were related as soul brothers since he had been my boyfriend for a short while. Tommy’s happy to join the extended foster family.
Michael and Jenna complain that we excluded their love songs. They’re added before the midnight kisses, bumping ‘Curfew’ to after midnight has chimed. Michael promises to get a Chinese gong to really ring in 1977. We go outside to review the restoration of the Globe replica. Just seeing the pit, where so much of the action and humor comes from, reminds me of all my punk shows – Shakespeare as punk precursor. I tell everyone we need to make sure there are plenty of kids to fill up the pit. Jack sits down and draws up a flyer to pass out, highlighting the Out-Crowd’s dance party. Our preparations are finalized. We just have to practice enough to play competently. Hippie is looking depressed. He complains that we aren’t playing any of his music. We agree to have him sing ‘Amazing Grace’ to open the show. Then Anna can take Little Greg home before the devil himself appears. She can start praying for all of us again.
After the kids play a few songs, just to prove they’re improving, the older group has a start and stop rehearsal. The kids leave, as it’s late for them. We finally quit by ten in order to hit Sorrento’s for pizza, beer and pot. I admit it beats Two Guys from Italy, hands down.